TOAD ON ENGLISH - HEAD TOADS teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
HT says 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, HT, that's a mouthful.'
HT says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl**job.'

LITTLE TOADIE ON GRAMMAR - HT was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
Teacher said, ' TOADIE, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word is “urinate”,
please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'
HT, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger t*ts, you'd be a TEN!'

LITTLETOADIE ON GETTING OLDER -  HEAD TOAD was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th a man on the bench opposite him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
HEAD TOAD replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
HEAD TOAD answered, 'No, he minded his own f....... business.